Overwhelmingly nauseous. Detached. Kinda excited. Kinda not. And a little scared.
That’s how I felt ten years ago when I was pregnant with my daughter, Liana.
It was an unexpected (sooner than planned) pregnancy. I was so incredibly sick (long before extreme morning sickness had a name, or any form of treatment) and so naive about how to nurture myself that I didn’t even care if I ate fruit loops and chicken nuggets for breakfast, lunch and tea. My pregnancy was far from mama-glow-gorgeous — despite the anticipation of all the magical moments soon to come. [Slight disclaimer ~ that picture above = not me. But I did take it! 🙂 ]
I spent the entire pregnancy absolutely convinced I was having a boy, and it makes me cringe now to realise how absolutely detached I was from my body and intuition ~ and basically wishing the whole experience to be over and the baby to be finally in my arms.
While my daughter was born in a blissful state of health (and I fell in love with her immediately), my own health suffered for years following that ridiculously sick, zombie-state of pregnancy.
Naturally, my journey through motherhood has been entwined with a deep desire for healing and presence.
Here was a baby, a toddler, a now a little lady who was more amazing, more special, and more lovable (and loving) that I ever thought possible…
If you’re a mum, I just know you can relate to that feeling.
As well as the realisation that life would never be the same again.
I had plenty of ideas of what motherhood would be like before I had Liana 10 years ago, and I must say – most of them were a little (or a lot) off the mark. As a baby, a toddler, and now growing into a little lady, Liana has pretty much been the ideal child. Always slept well, good manners and attitude, loves to learn, very self sufficient, makes friends easily with kids and adults of all ages and pretty darn awesome to be around. That’s not to say she is perfect (is anyone perfect anyways?) but after such a traumatic pregnancy and birthing experience, I kinda deserved a good baby and so I am glad I got one – it made those early years a lot easier to fumble my way through!
That’s also not to say life was smooth sailing. There have been plenty of bumps in the road along this journey, lots of wrong turns, dead ends, and even a few times that I felt like I had completely lost the map (and the plot!).
But all of those things have taught me so many lessons. They have allowed me to grow and stretch and explore in ways that I never could have imagined were possible…
A little of the (not so) highlight reel…
Divorce (she was 2), pneumonia, a 6 week night photography course to give me a ‘hobby’ to focus on, 6 months of recurrent tonsillitis, a decision to leave my 9-5 job, tonsils removed (as an adult – not fun!), renovating + then selling my house, a summer by the pool at Mum + Dad’s, lots of thinking about studying web design (and even towards studying nutrition), glandular fever, and a love for photography slowly beginning to blossom…
It was 2007.
Me with camera in hand, and with a willing model by my side…
My work as a pregnancy and newborn photographer — over the last seven years — has further fed my fascination for newborn behaviour + the human body and led me to explore the spiritual journey of birth, and life. And I now believe that Liana came to me at the perfect time, in the perfect form.
As I spent this time capturing images of life at its most fragile and new, I couldn’t help but be hyper-aware of what we put into these beautiful bodies of ours and what we choose to feed our creative lives, moment to moment. Which is why I chose to study nutritional medicine and qualify as a health coach. Initially for me, to satisfy my thirst for knowledge, and now – for Liana – and for you!
All that I seek in my own life is what I seek for my daughter. It’s my intention to educate Liana about her miraculous body, about the foods that nourish and sustain her, about the daily practices that can enhance her health and happiness.
In the last 7+ years I have built a business (or technically, several – here, here + here) and my brand from the ground up. Consulting google, reading books and trying and practicing everything I wanted to learn for many many hours per week. I have loved almost every moment of it, but there have been lots of times where I have let things slide. My health, my self care routine, socialising, eating well, sleeping enough, not making time for fresh air and exercise. I have yelled, cried, stomped my feet ~ and on occasion stomped my feet while yelling and crying.
The truth is: you’re not expected to have the answers before you become a mum. Just as you’re not expected to have the answers when you are a mum! It’s a process.
I know that there’s no such thing as a “perfect mother,” but if every day includes a least one giggle & moment of gratitude, shared with your daughter (and/or other children), you’re off to a pretty great start.
So I encourage you to enjoy your journey, to seek new ways to nourish yourself. And I encourage you to expand, play and delight in what’s ahead: whatever age or stage your children are at.
Above all, I invite you to enter this space with your deepest dreams. They may not be fully formed yet, but I hope you feel free to dream as wide and as bright as you dare.
You’ll find plenty of my dreams here, not just for myself and my daughter, but for your own health and wellbeing, your creative expression and expansion. My goal is to help you to make self-love part of your daily life, rather than a nice sentiment and to nurture your own daughter to feel steady in her soul truth. There are lots of articles to read on this site, but if you feel that you want to deepen your health and wellness practices ~~ with my support and guidance ~~ then please take a look at my new coaching packages here:
Most of all, please relax and feel at home. I am so honored that you are here.
PS: Want to jump on the mailing list? Fill out that simple form just a little further down the page… I guarantee it will be worth it!
PPS: If you resonate with my story and want to share, if you want to send me some love, or if you want to comment in any way ~ I would LOVE to hear from you… You can do that at the bottom of this page in the comments section!